Call Him Mr. Vice President

by Shanita Ealey

Kristopher Sharp wins a student body election despite attacks for being gay and living with HIV.

What would you do if in the midst of running for vice president of the student body at your college, you discovered that your medical history—notably your HIV status—and your sexual orientation were passed around on fliers and written on bathroom stalls throughout campus? Some of us would buckle under the pressure. Kristopher Sharp did not. Sharp chose not to prosecute the person(s) responsible and be the bigger man. The resulting response of support from many of his fellow students is hopeful and inspiring.

Earlier this year an undergraduate student at the University of Houston Downtown, the 24-year-old and his running mate for president, Isaac Valdez, were catapulted into the media after being targeted in homophobic attacks during their campaign.  Sharp shares his thoughts on the incident, his feelings toward the person responsible, and his plans to continue work aimed at reducing HIV stigma.

POZ Magazine spoke with him about his experience and recent win.

Follow Kristopher on Twitter @sharpkristopher

Find him on Facebook

by Mark S. King

I LOVE Mark S. King and I respect his unedited, unabashed way in which he addresses all topics HIV. His recent piece on HIV stigma is no exception. Why do we feel the need to judge anything “other”?

Some of my favorite quotes from the article are below.

“Stigma lets us take comfort in seeing things in others about which, we believe, they must be ashamed. It is a lazy way to feel better about ourselves—and therefore a popular human activity—and gay men are remarkably good at it. So many of us survive childhood taunts that by the time we come of age we have developed fairly lethal claws of our own. We know how to hurt others before they can hurt us.”

“The more HIV treatments improved, the wider the viral divide became. Our mutual resentments and jealousies worsened. As the physical scars of AIDS faded—the skin lesions, the wasted faces—our anxiety level rose as HIV status became less apparent. You can just imagine the frustration of the discerning gay man, no longer capable of telling the positive from the negative. Where’s the comfort of stigmatizing someone when you can’t tell who they are?”

“Take a hard look at HIV-negative gay men. They are the superior ones, the corrupt morality police, the hypocrites, the gentlemen in waiting. Above all else they are the supremely lucky, because they can’t possibly live by the crushing code of conduct they impose on the rest of us. They reject us as damaged goods. They promote how “drug and disease free” they are. They publicly advertise their outdated HIV results. They tell us we would make better friends than sex partners and then they don’t call again. They find clean, disease-free love with other, similarly superior men so they might have a life out of reach of the great unwashed.”

“That is the sound of stigma. It is bitter and rageful and terribly afraid. I can hear my own tones in it, like a voice in a chorus, when it says the words I would never admit to thinking. Do you hear your own”

“Gay men have known since the AIDS pandemic began that empowerment is the antidote to stigma, that the more proactively we approach our health care and build support networks, the less stigmatized we feel. The answer lies in our refusal to be marked and shamed. But our own community challenges us at every turn.”

Mark S. King–the world is a better place because of you. You are amazing.

You can read the digital edition here:

Open publication - Free publishing - More aids

Late Tuesday, Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL) introduced a bill that could eventually force the repeal of laws that criminalize exposing others to HIV.

Lambda Legal has issued a press release in support of the bill:

The REPEAL (“Repeal Existing Policies that Encourage and Allow Legal”) HIV Discrimination Act, H.R. 1843, which was introduced by Rep. Barbara Lee late yesterday, calls for review of all federal and state laws, policies and regulations regarding the criminal prosecution of individuals for HIV-related offenses. If enacted, it would be the first piece of federal legislation to take on the issue of HIV criminalization. The proposed bill is being met with widespread support, including endorsements from the National Alliance of State and Territorial AIDS Directors (NASTAD), the HIV Medicine Association (HIVMA), the Positive Justice Project, and AIDS United.

Thirty-four states and two U.S. territories now have laws that make “exposure” to or nondisclosure of HIV a crime. Though condom use significantly reduces the risk of HIV transmission, most HIV-specific laws do not consider condom use a mitigating factor or as evidence that the person did not intend to transmit HIV. Sentences imposed on people convicted of HIV-specific offenses can range from 10-30 years, even in the absence of intent to transmit HIV, actual transmission, or even the potential for transmission. Though most convictions are based on consensual sexual activity between adults, those convicted are often required to register as “sex offenders.”

Researchers believe that there will be a breakthrough in finding a cure for HIV “within months”.

I post this information with hopeful trepidation. I have learned to be very cautiously optimistic about over hyping HIV “cures”. We know for a fact that the current treatment options are very successful in managing HIV–especially with early treatment– and until the results are proven beyond a shadow of a doubt none of us should place our faith in a cure on the horizon. That being said, any advances in HIV research are to be applauded and explored.

Danish scientists are expecting the results of their most recent research will show that “finding a mass-distributable and affordable cure to HIV is possible”. They are conducting clinical trials to test a “novel strategy” in which the HIV virus is stripped from human DNA and destroyed permanently by the immune system. The scientists are currently conducting human trials on their treatment, in the hope of proving that it is effective. It has already been found to work in laboratory tests.

The technique involves releasing the HIV virus from “reservoirs” it forms inside DNA, bringing it to the surface of the cells. Once it comes to the surface, the body’s natural immune system can kill the virus through being boosted by a “vaccine”.

 

In vitro studies — those that use human cells in a laboratory — of the new technique proved so successful that in January, the Danish Research Council awarded the team 12 million Danish kroner (£1.5 million) to pursue their findings in clinical trials with human subjects.

While doing some Volttage number crunching last night, I found myself wondering how many members were interested in leather.

I did some checking. Among the guys who fill out the interest section section of their profile, 32% say they are into leather.

That got me thinking – How many guys on Volttage have been to International Mr Leather? How many are going this year?

IML (May 24-27) is a favorite among some of the site administrators (some meaning me).

Which brings us to our first, totally non-scientific, member poll:

You must be a Volttage member to participate in this poll.

A friendly reminder:

Edit your profile, add some interests, and upload some pics. The more information your provide, the more likely you come up in other member searches.

A study testing the latest experimental HIV vaccine has been stopped after an independent review board found that it did not prevent HIV infection and did not decrease the amount of HIV in the blood.

The National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), part of the National Institutes of Health, announced that they will stop giving doses of this experimental vaccine.

The trial, which began in 2009 is the most recent in a line of unsuccessful HIV vaccine studies. The study, named HVTN 505, consisted of 2,504 participants in 19 different cities and was examining men who have sex with men, as well as transgender people who have sex with men. It was designed to measure whether the vaccine could prevent HIV infection and/or decrease the amount of HIV in the blood of vaccine recipients who contracted HIV.

Among the volunteers who developed HIV within the first 28 weeks of the trial, 14 were experimental vaccine recipients and 9 were placebo patients.

By the end of 24 months, 41 vaccine recipients had become HIV infected compared to 30 among the placebo recipients.

Additionally, the vaccine did not decrease the viral load among participants who developed HIV infection at least 28 weeks after beginning the study and who were tracked for at least 20 weeks after the diagnosis. There were 30 volunteers with a measurable viral load. 15 recipients, 15 placebos).

Interview by Diane Anderson-Minshall for HIV Plus Magazine

I am featured in the article along with legends such as Greg Louganis, Peter Staley, Rudy Galindo and Andrew Sullivan. Such an honor!

You wear a lot of hats. Describe yourself.

HAHA!! Yes I do. Hopefully very stylish hats. You described me pretty well. I would move “activist” to the front of the line because that’s what I am most proud of and activism and HIV awareness is what I’m really focusing my energy on. My new dating site for HIV+ men, Volttage.com, is also another outlet for HIV visibility and awareness.

Why are you involved in so many different things?

I’ve always been an over-achiever.  I think it was drilled into my DNA when I was a kid. I’m happiest when I’m working on multiple projects. I’m sort of fearless so when an interesting opportunity presents itself I say yes and I’m constantly thinking of new ways to reinvent myself.
What was your thinking behind launching Volttage? Is it the first of its kind?

Volttage.com (soon to be a mobile app as well) was a response to the non-stop messages and emails I receive about the difficulties around disclosure and discrimination in the dating scene. Online dating is particularly attractive to HIV positive guys because it’s easier to disclose and risk rejection online rather than deal with it face to face. I wanted to create a community where HIV status was a non-issue thus removing the stigma all together. On Volttage  we do not ask HIV status. We believe that everyone should always assume their partner is HIV positive and proceed accordingly. Volttage is clearly marketing to HIV positive gay men but we do not discriminate against negative guys.

Volttage is not the first dating site for HIV positive individuals but it is certainly the first of it’s kind. We are the first to target HIV positive MSM and we are the first to create a sexy, healthy sex-positive community that gets real about sex and relationships. We are currently building the blog portion of the site because we also want Volttage to be a hub for information, resources and support. The potential benefit to the HIV community is massive. I’m really excited about the potential.

What’s the response to Volttage been?

The response has been amazing! We have reached over 8000 members in less than 6 months with zero advertising so clearly the need was there. The personal messages I have received on the site are very encouraging. The general opinion is that it was long overdue. Now we are looking for investors so we can finish the mobile app and really expand the brand and boost the membership. Then Volttage will become a really powerful tool in raising awareness and increasing HIV visibility. We just signed on Ji Wallace as one of our Volttagemen. He is the Olympic silver medalist who came out as HIV positive this past year. All our models are HIV positive and we want to send out the message that having HIV is not shameful.

HIV Positive Olympian, Ji Wallace

You were the first contestant on Project Runway to come out as HIV Positive. Was that freeing to do that on national TV?

Yes. In a sense. I have been positive for 23 years so when the show aired I was already totally out to everyone and already quite outspoken about it. Disclosing my status on Project Runway did two great things. I basically never have to disclose my status again which is a relief, and it gave the HIV community a much needed role model. I was on season 4 when Project Runway was at it’s peak of popularity and no TV personality had publicly come out as HIV positive since Pedro Zamora from the Real World in 1994. The outpouring of support was massive and immediate. I’m so thankful that it gave me a voice to speak about living with HIV.

You’ve been HIV positive since 1990. To what do you credit your health and longevity?

Well in all honesty part of it is luck. Statistically I should be dead. However I made some personal decisions early that worked in my favor. I got on the available medications immediately after my diagnosis which seemed to work. I’ve always had great doctors that I can be totally honest with and I take care of my overall health and wellness with medication, diet and exercise. I also believe that being open about my status has been a huge stress relief. Living with a secret can be a burden.
What is the one thing most people don’t know about you?

I’m not very social. I think people assume I have a very glamorous life full of photo shoots and parties. That’s not completely false but I consider those things to be work. I don’t ever go out to bars or clubs and I don’t drink. I have a few close friends that I’ve had for many years and I’m not great at making new ones. That’s probably why I’m single.
Do you think stigma against HIV+ people is changing? To what do you give credit for that?

I think stigma is changing BUT REALLY SLOWLY!!!  I’m a huge believer that visibility is the best thing we can do to change public perception but it’s often uncomfortable so people stay in the closet. Try to name ten “famous” people who are known to be HIV positive. After Magic Johnson and Greg Louganis it’s pretty difficult. It’s not that they don’t exist, it’s just that they aren’t out. I know a lot of VERY famous people who are HIV positive but they wont talk about it because they think it will ruin their careers.

That’s why I do what I do so people will continue to see that you can be happy and healthy with HIV so we are all honest with ourselves and each other.

As HIVers live longer, does that change the public’s perception of either HIV or the people with it?

Possibly. I think it’s a hopeful message that you can live a long, full life with HIV.  I’m hopeful that individuals with HIV will speak out in their own lives to influence the public on a very grass roots level. Honestly for the most part I think the general public has forgotten about HIV.

Do you think HIV positive gay men have created community and support systems in a way that differs from their non-gay peers?

Yes. Let’s face it. In the US the infection rate of gay men is wildly disproportionate to any other community. We deal with HIV issues on a fairly regular basis even if only in conversation. Because of that there is a familiarity there does not exist in the heterosexual community. However that does not necessarily translate to support. I do think the gay community is generally more supportive of those of us who are different because we can all empathize with the outcast. To anyone who needs support it’s definitely out there and you are certainly not alone. If you need some advice you can just Google me. Apparently I’m the only Jack Mackenroth in the world.
Since you run a dating site, I have to ask: Are you single or partnered? Dating? Do tell. If you’re single, what does a guy have to do to land a date with you?

HAHAHAH!! Well creating a dating site sure is a lot of effort just to get a date! Right?

But I am single. At this point in my life I’m looking to settle down. To get a date with me you would probably have to ask me. I’m not great with small talk. I’m generally attracted to guys near my age and size. If you want a second date you should have a job and some real interests other than circuit parties. Who the hell knows. Send me a message on Facebook.

What’s next for you?
This year I decided to really focus my energy on HIV activism and developing Volttage into an amazing site/app. I continue to travel around the country speaking at events and fundraisers which I love. Feel free to contact me about having me to your event or organization. I’ve been threatening to finish my book “Making Lamonaids” for years now. That will happen one day. For now I’m just swimming, working and husband shopping. Call me!!

–
Diane Anderson-Minshall
Executive Editor, The Advocate Group (The Advocate magazine, Advocate.com, Gay.net, OutTraveler.com, and SheWired.com) and Editor in Chief of HIV Plus magazine and HIVPlusMag.com

THIS IS HILARIOUS!! I’m addicted to Willam.

Watch: I Love You Like a Big Schlong

His amazing follow up to This Boy is a Bottom, also below. ENJOY!!

UPDATE: It’s too late to “RuPaulogize…” but not to strap on some roller skates

Follow him on twitter.

Like an onion, there are many layers to HIV-related stigma.  Stigma can be internalized to oneself, or it can manifest outward.  Like an interstate, stigma can also move in both directions at the same time.  Consequences to stigma can impact a person, a relationship, or a community.  Like an elevator, stigma can move up and down the age scale.   The impact it has can have physical, emotional, and social effects to both HIV- and HIV+ men.  It seems to me there is a growing and widening divide between HIV+ and HIV- men.  Like an infection, it seems to be only getting worse.

I find myself being a part of the very stigma I detest. I have become an oxymoron and my behavior has become hypocritical of what I know to be right.   I would much rather become friends with someone with HIV than someone without it.  But…for me friendships with HIV- men too often become mentally exhausting; I get tired of the endless HIV-related questions, the answer to which they should already know or could easily Google:

“Can I get HIV from sucking dick?  Can I get HIV from kissing?  Are you going to die from HIV?”

Ignorance and laziness are two qualities I detest.  I don’t believe an HIV- person should only become concerned about finding the answers to such questions only after meeting someone who has HIV.  I feel like someone without HIV just doesn’t get it”.  And yet…I feel a separate yet equal responsibility to share my knowledge when such questions are asked.  I feel frustrated and yet worried, that if I do not answer their questions then they might not ever take the time to find out otherwise, and thus by giving into my frustration I could very well be allowing them to live in dangerous ignorance.

In my experience, the one way to drop a grenade on potential platonic gay friendship is to disclose your HIV status.  All the sudden the fear of guilt by association comes into play.  I believe HIV- guys fear others will think they themselves are HIV+ just by being friends with or dating someone with HIV.  Both HIV-positive and HIV-negative men screen prospective social or sexual partners for compatibility, either in a platonic or sexual sense.  Disclosure of HIV within the gay community begins the process of “AIDS apartheid”.

When I was first diagnosed with HIV, I tried to remain within the social scene.  I went to the club, I went to dinner with the gay boys, and I did the whole schmooze and social climbing as everyone else.  But too often I became known as “the guy with AIDS”.  Walking into a club or into any gathering with other gay guys, I could tell instantly if they had been gossiping about me.  One glance from them and I knew they knew about my HIV and always there was a flicker of panic as I approached the herd of HIV- guys.  Or the inevitable and too often repeated reaction to my disclosure – “Oh, I will be right back!”– Only to see them in a little while, avoiding you like the plague (pun intended).

One can only tolerate or handle such subtle ostracizing before you throw your hands up and ask yourself why you keep putting yourself into a situation where you are shunned and unwanted.

I often wonder why gay guys perpetuate the very type of stigma and social sorting that we have been victim to by the population at large.  One would think that based on stigma from heterosexuals and/or right-wing conservative and/or religious institutions, that gay men would be more empathetic to such stigma.  One would think they would be the first ones to offer support, friendship, or a shoulder when they learn of their fellow brother’s HIV diagnosis.

Yet, there still exists a divide within the gay community by which HIV negative gay men either explicitly or implicitly blame us with HIV, who still choose to see us as dirty.  A glance at any gay hook-up or gay dating website will show you how very frequently one states their desire for a “clean”, i.e. HIV negative, person…implying those who are not HIV negative are dirty and damaged.

After repeated rejections, no matter how polite the rejections are presented, one begins to realize the hurt of rejection can be avoided simply by withdrawing from the gay world, as it appears there is no room for HIV+ people within the general gay culture.

And even within the HIV+ gay male community there still exists stigma based on age.  It seems as though the ageism that is present in the gay male population at large (i.e. HIV- men) has bled into the HIV+ community.  A recent blog post by an under-30 HIV+ person took offense and aim at men who became HIV+ in the early years of the epidemic.  This young person basically took the position that older gay men with HIV are a real bummer.   He stated that they offend him because he felt as though older HIV+ men were too preachy and he devalued their experience by saying it was time to stop focusing on death.  The generational divide was especially confusing to me, someone whose age falls between “twinky” gays and older gays.

Stigma even comes from within.  The very worst stigma I experience is the stigma I throw at myself.  I have gained weight since my diagnosis and since I have quit smoking…I weigh more now than I ever have in my life and when I look down at my swollen stomach, I feel such a very distinct and visible disconnect from gay culture.  I am the opposite of a mirror image of the physical being I used to be, back before I contracted HIV, back when I was still attractive and could still seduce a man.  The degradation of my physicality has a direct impact on me socially and emotionally.  I never want to go where there are other gay guys.  To see them in their teensy tiny v-neck t-shirts and their super skinny jeans would only serve as a reminder of who I am not.  My social life since HIV is a textbook example of avoidant strategies.  In my current relationship I do not ever want to be intimate with my partner out of self-disgust in my physicality.

Such serosorting, HIV segregation, or AIDS apartheid can actually place an HIV negative person in more danger of contracting HIV through infrequent HIV testing, lack of HIV status disclosure, and the continued perception they are HIV negative.  One in 5 gay guys with HIV don’t even know they have HIV.  The culture of segregation and silence perpetuates a horrific catch-22 of HIV infections.  I have heard too often a horny gay boy trust another person’s word when it comes to HIV disclosure.  Believing you are HIV negative is NOT the same as actually being HIV negative.   I have personally been in situations (years ago when I was still single) where a guy was more than willing to sleep with me, without HIV ever entering the conversation until I brought it up by disclosing.  I always wonder how often this happens, where someone who assumes himself to be HIV negative tells their sex partner they are negative and then they have unsafe sex.  Then I wonder if and when that other person contacts HIV if they think back to that unsafe encounter…or do they overlook the encounter because the other guy told him he was negative?

Serosorting that results in seroguessing is not a safety behavior, it is a grenade waiting to explode…and the explosion of increasing HIV infections among gay men is the result of such silence and guesswork.  This stigma and fear of the negative consequences of an HIV+ diagnosis directly result in avoidance of HIV testing and counseling.  It appears as though many gay guys subscribe to the ignorance-is-bliss philosophy, and to hell with the consequences.  My personal experience in trying to educate gay men about HIV resulted in resounding silence.  Nobody wants to talk about it.  Gay guys become offended if you bring it up, believing you are accusing them of being a slut or drug addict or both, the whole time they themselves are more than likely not practicing safe sex each and every time.  Too many of the head-in-the-sand gays think they are not at risk from getting HIV from their unsafe sex.  HIV is what happens to other people…until it happens to them.

By Tyler Curry

Now before we begin, you can go ahead and unravel that tight wad your panties have wound themselves into. This is not an article intended to promote the transmission of HIV and in no way is it meant to glamorize HIV/AIDS. Is it even possible to glamorize such an abysmal disease? I think not. But I have noticed that when an HIV-positive man takes a public stance without the “whoa is me” pretense, that is the general dissent. To glamorize HIV would be like trying to Photoshop a picture of the Holocaust. No matter how you manipulate it, the ugliness remains. However, I am not HIV itself, and its time that people who are HIV-positive stop wearing the face of the virus as if it was their own.

Sometimes life can deal you a hand that can make you feel like you will never win. Being diagnosed with HIV is just one example. But unlike some other unfavorable traits that we carry in our deck, being HIV-positive can seem like the only card you have to play.

When I was diagnosed with HIV, all the characteristics that assemble the person who I am, both good and bad, suddenly seemed to fall to the floor. For months, it felt as if I was clutching this new card with an ugly plus sign close to my chest. The game of life continued, yet I found myself willingly sitting on the sidelines and forgoing any chance at making a play for happiness.

The worst part of HIV stigma is that it always starts from within. No matter what your background or level of HIV education, a positive diagnosis can send even the most self-assured into a tailspin of self-doubt. After I learned I was HIV-positive, I immediately began to see my reflection differently. My interaction with friends and strangers alike had a new sense of reticence. I vexed over the opinions of people that weren’t even real, yet they seeped into every pore. I assumed everyone would see me differently, because that was how I viewed myself.

But there is only so much self-pity a boy can take before nausea starts to kick in. There are two ways you can approach life. Either life happens to you, or you happen to your life. We have all been knocked down so hard we think we’ll never get up. No matter how long you choose to stay down with your eyes shut tight, eventually you have to open them and realize that you can stand again. And if you can’t stand, get a wheelchair. Unless you are dead, life can only get better… if you want it to.

Everybody is subject to gossip, ridicule and rejection. We all have to make a choice. You can either anguish over those that cause you to hurt or you can thrive off of those who only want happiness for you. No matter who you are or what your status may be, the two will always exist. Just make sure and check if your own hand isn’t holding the knife that has been wedged in your back.

Confidence is just waking up in the morning and knowing you have what it takes to make your own life good. If it is love or a relationship you seek, someone will believe that you are worth taking to breakfast the next morning only if you do. There are countless reasons why someone will reject you, but the right person will only stick around if you believe you are worth it.

Coming out as HIV-positive may seem like about as good of an idea as a face tattoo. If these feelings seem eerily familiar, it’s because they are the same ones you probably experienced when you came out of the closet the first time around. You fear for your job security; you worry about losing friends; and you don’t want to disappoint your mother. This fear of rejection will gnaw away at your self-confidence while you toy around in your new found closet until you start talking. The more you talk, the easier it gets. Before you know it, you will find yourself holding a full deck of cards (and you might even find some new playmates). Most importantly, your reflection in the mirror will start to look like your own again, and it can be as glamorous as you want it to be.

Finding your way back to holding a full deck can be difficult after being diagnosed with HIV. But it is just that, one card out of many that you just have to learn to play. So what if you lose a hand or two (or a hundred), there will always be another game to be had.

I have been accused of making light of HIV. That is the furthest from my intentions. Becoming HIV-positive will change your entire life, but how it changes is solely up to you.

It can change it for the better, but only if you want it to.

TYLER CURRY created the Needle Prick Project as an editorial and visual campaign to elicit a candid and open conversation on what it means to be HIV-positive today. To learn more about the Needle Prick Project, visit Facebook.com/getpricked or follow Tyler Curry on Facebook or Twitter at @iamtylercurry.